Christina Brandt

I spend lots of time talking with people about what their best lives would look like. On the surface they’re searching for things like a new career, or a new home, or a new relationship. Some want to write a book or build a new company. Others want to volunteer for a worthy non-profit. Many want to travel the world.

What they’re really searching for is a feeling. They believe “When ______________ appears in my life, I will feel __________________.”

Whether it’s a new love, a promotion, the car or dining room table you’ve lusted after for years, or pretty much everything else you want, there’s always a feeling you believe you’ll feel upon the attainment of that desire.

At the core of pretty much everything we want is peace, love, or connection. To me, that feels like coming home. A feeling of relief, of being able to exhale. Of letting my guard down and trusting that all is already well. It’s sort of like the “ahhh” you feel when you take off a tight pair of shoes or pants. I don’t know about you, but that moment’s pretty heavenly for me!

My friend and teacher, Martha Beck, and I recently welcomed a new group of coaching students to her training program. During our call, she said:

“Every prayer you’ve ever prayed,
every longing you’ve thrown out into the Universe
was heard and answered immediately,
and the answer was always ‘yes.’
BUT…the Universe never sends your mail
to any place but your real address.
Your real address is peace. It’s self-love. It’s calm.
In that moment when we can go home, we can collect all our mail.”

It’s our job to keep finding ways to return home and collect our mail. Some people pray. Others meditate. Still others find home in creating art. There are so many ways to connect and feel the abundance of our Universe. It’s just a matter of finding which ones work for you. The important thing is to try, and to notice what feels best.

For me, “home” is in the labyrinth, where I can walk slowly (or not), pray (or not), and create enough quiet sometimes that I’ll spot the mail that’s been waiting for me to find it. Home’s also in a certain red Adirondack chair, tucked under some trees, down on Wildflower Pond (which happens to be in my backyard). And, when my hands are in dirt, or when I’m standing quietly with a horse, I’m home, too.

Where’s home for you? Have you gotten any good mail lately?

I’ve been thinking about the term “frenemy” lately.  Urban Dictionary defines this as “an enemy disguised as a friend.” I’ll bet that you can think of at least one person in your world who fits this profile. Maybe you’ve cast them out, deciding that their two-faced, evil selves have no place in your circle, and aren’t worthy to receive your attention.

But what if that’s a knee-jerk reaction?  I’ve quit jobs because of bosses from hell, ended relationships because I felt used and abused, and plotted revenge (in my mind) against co-workers who sabotaged my every move. And, for a long time, the bitter aftertaste of those situations ate away at me.

What if you could shift your thinking about these people?  What if enemies are just “ancient friends in disguise,” as Mike Dooley (of tut.com fame) calls them? It’s a shift in thinking from the Urban Dictionary prose, so let’s dig a little further.  “Ancient” friends could be those who’ve shared other lifetimes with you.  Yeah, that’s incredibly woo-woo and presumes you’re cool with the idea that we live more than one lifetime.  But, do we know that’s not the case?

What if souls circle back around, coming into our lives with a purpose, a reason to help and guide us?  How could that annoying neighbor (whether at home or in the office next door) be helping you?Could the constant mooching of a certain someone actually be useful to you in some way?  What is your boss from hell teaching you?

Try this:  Make a list of people you dislike but haven’t managed to get away from yet, add the people you no longer speak to because you’ve had a falling out, and then add every person who’s wronged you in some way.  Go ahead.  Seriously.  Don’t be judgy about how long the list is or who’s on it, or how minor their “offenses” might be. Name names. Go all out on this part.

Then, do this:  Figure out how each and every one of those “enemies” was a friend in disguise.  Uh huh.  I mean it.  They taught you stuff, they helped you, and it’d be a damned shame if your pride, ego, stubbornness, denial or fear got in the way of your finding the gifts they gave you.  If it gets thorny as you try to sort this stuff out, call a friend.  Call me.  Just keep working your way through that list because a more peaceful, honest life is waiting for you if you stick with it.

The ancients, your friends, and you will be ever so grateful.

Hi everyone. My name is Christina and I’m a “getting it right” addict. I’ve written far fewer newsletters this past year because the drafts didn’t feel good enough to share with you. I’ve been putting off the re-launch of my Walking With Your Divine Self website for almost a year. I’ve let a few (okay, a lot of) ideas sit on paper rather than execute on them. What I’ve got here is a failure to launch.

I wait and wait and wait to launch because…

• it’s not good enough, or
• it’s gotta look prettier first, or
• it’s gotta feel like the right time, or
• I haven’t found the right words, orno one’s gonna want to come to my event, or
• (insert other nonsensical belief here).

Can you relate? If so, try this: Do it anyway. Full stop, as the Brits say. Seriously. Just freakin’ do something. You’ve heard quotes like “perfect is the enemy of good.” And, since the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting different results…

I’ve been doing it anyway lately. And here’s the result: When you check out my (other) website, you’ll see that the logo that belongs in the box at the top isn’t quite centered. You’ll also notice that the “Walk” page feels kind of incomplete. And you’ll see that the formatting of the main blog page is off. And you’ll see that the home page feels like it’s got a bit too much white space. And you might feel like there are pictures missing. And some of the colors are a little funny. Or maybe you wouldn’t have noticed any of that if I hadn’t called it to your attention. (I’ll save the topic of apologizing for one’s work for another newsletter!)

I can tell myself a ton of stories about why I should wait. Or, I can launch and trust that something good will come of it all. Here’s what’s come of my less-than-perfect site launch so far:

• People have signed up for my event,
• web traffic reports tell me people are starting to find the site,
• I’ve learned a lot about widgets and have still more to learn,
• I know more about HTML than I gave myself credit for,
• people have been complimentary of what’s there so far, and
• lots of help from patient friends will continue to see me through the rest of the project.

Who’d’ve thunk it? Complimentary of less than perfect? What? Could it be that the person who’s hardest on me, is me? Yup.

If your inner critic is keeping you from the launch of something new, and maybe a little scary, take a few small and (im)perfect steps. Chances are you’ll be just fine. And you’ll learn a lot, no matter what happens.

I’m drawn to labyrinths in a big way. Like, seriously big.  I’ve designed and installed three and have plans to do more.  I’ve even painted one (with the help of patient friends) on a portable canvas so I can use it indoors at workshops.  I look for them when I travel.  Someone told me it’s “a past life thing.”

Whatever the reason, a labyrinth is where I find answers, sometimes. Where I hear the voice of the divine, occasionally.  Where I find a metaphor that offers new perspective, always. Yup, when I want a surefire way to see my life and “problems” in a new way, the labyrinth metaphors can’t be beat.

Here’s what happened recently:  I learned about a new (to me) labyrinth from a friend.  I found directions on Google Maps and used my GPS, too.  I got to the church and couldn’t find a labyrinth, anywhere.  I went home, convinced something was wrong.  I figured out that the labyrinth’s a half mile down the road, behind the building that used to house the church.

I went back and found the labyrinth, covered with leaves.  I told myself stories about how the leaves kept me from taking good pictures, how I’d have to clean it up before I could make my way, and that I couldn’t clean up all those leaves without a broom.

Then, I kicked some leaves.  And I kicked a few more, and before I knew it, I was kicking up a storm like a kid, enjoying the crisp air and how much fun it is to move leaves with your feet.  And everything I was supposed to do that afternoon, and all the annoyance I’d felt moments ago, just fell away.  Step by step, the labyrinth was revealed under those playful feet.

Hmmm….can you spot the metaphors in this story?

Sometimes others’ directions steer you right past where you want to be.  My GPS got me to the very modern, newly-built church with the vast parking lot, but not the labyrinth.  I’d driven right by this lovely old clapboard church set among huge trees, and noticed it was pretty as I flew by.  Slowing down, I’d have realized that it was a perfect spot in which to site a labyrinth.  Where in your life are you relying on others’ data (instead of your own) to steer your course? What’s passing you by as a result?

Just because you can’t see a path, doesn’t mean it’s not there.The path is always there, and putting one foot in front of the other, playing as you go, will always give you more information about how to proceed.  Trust that you have enough information to get started on whatever you’d like to do, be or have.  Take a step in whatever direction feels playful and does your heart good.  Over time, you’ll be amazed where the path will take you.

Look for playful, unconventional ways to clean things up.  When I try to hard to solve a problem, frustration ensues and there’s no progress.  When I lighten up, get goofy, and engage in some play, it’s amazing what happens.  My mind wants to believe that I have to work hard, to be diligent and disciplined.  Most times, though, the opposite is what works best.  Dialing back the “inner drill sergeant” is a sure-fire way to create the needed space to find your way forward again.

Next time you’re feeling stuck, try shifting your perspective from literal to symbolic.  Seeing your situation as a giant metaphor with a story to tell can offer lots of interesting solutions.  Throw in a little listening to your inner voice, a smattering of faith that a path will be revealed, and a healthy dose of play, and you’ll be back on your way.

There are lots of ways to start a new year…

Want to do it, too?