September’s my favorite month for a lot of reasons. Gorgeous Northeast weather, less crowded beaches, sales at Staples…I’m an office products freak. Put me in a stationery store and I’m good to go…but I digress.
Reason Number One for loving September is because it feels like a new beginning. While January may mark the start of a new calendar year, September’s always felt like a fresh start to me. Maybe it’s the deeply-ingrained rhythm of the school year. Summer’s over, and it’s time to learn again. With the new school year come new lessons, and for a little while, permission to be a newbie who just doesn’t know how things work.
In any event, the fresh start’s what I’m often after. There’s something about a new notebook, a turn of the calendar page, and the chance to begin again that feels great. Things haven’t gotten messy yet.
So often, my clients and I think that a dramatic new start like relocating to another city, quitting a job or finding a new love will fix what ails us. Sometimes it does, but what’s often in need of a cleanup or fresh start is the thinking that we’ve made too much of a mess to stay where we are. We tend to get into “I Need To Blow Up My Life/Career/Relationship” mode and don’t stop to notice what’s really going on. It’s so much easier to distract ourselves with the logistics and excitement of a big change.
A wise, well-traveled friend once said “It doesn’t matter where you go because your troubles always follow you.” So, how do you know whether a dramatic shakeup or just a little dusting and cleaning is in order? Get curious. Ask yourself these questions:
What do I really, really not want to know right now?
What is my role in the creation of these circumstances?
Whom do I most need to forgive right now?
What is the feeling state I want to have?
To achieve a truly new beginning, it helps to know exactly where you are right now – to honestly, consciously be aware of just what’s going on and what you’re doing to contribute to the situation. Once you’ve established a clear understanding of the circumstances, you can begin the process of unwinding the thoughts you have about them. (Hint: If there’s a “should,” “shouldn’t,” “can’t,” or “have to” floating around in your head, you’ve probably got some work to do.)
Learning how your attachment to limiting or unproductive thoughts is causing your desire to flee your current life/job/relationship is the beginning of transformation. Lucky for all of us, every moment is a new opportunity to notice our thoughts, decide if they’re helpful, and choose whether to invest any energy in believing them. Talk about the best fresh start there is!
